19 January 2009
Now I Know How It Feels
Those of you who bought the CD would already know that after "The Little Cat Song" there's a hidden track. It's called "Now I Know How It Feels". For a while it was up on MySpace. But I took it down to make way for other songs.

I've always liked hidden tracks. They're often quite fun and very different from the rest of the album (but not necessarily so). I knew I wanted a hidden track on Songs For A Shadow and I thought yeah, why not put in something that's fully electronic and MIDI-fied. But I didn't really know what was supposed to be the hidden track...

... anyway, I started writing the song sometime in early- or mid-2007, using a MIDI loop I salvaged from an earlier MIDI composition I had composed in Cakewalk. (FYI: I've been writing MIDI compositions in Cakewalk since 2000. Using Windows MIDI patches no less... ha ha ha. It all sounds very 8-bit.) I started building the song bit by bit, over a few months, while noodling and recording on the side. Finally around June or July, after more or less finalising the MIDI arrangement for the song, I got around to writing the lyrics for it and what came out was basically a kind of a song about realisations or a mini enlightenment.

Many times in the past I've heard people talk about this or that... describing what they're going through... and I'd be like "Oh OK." Which is my stock reply for "Yeah... I don't really know what you mean but I'm going to go along with it anyway." But I've grown a bit older now (in 2007, that is -- I know even more now... LOL). The lyrics themselves are not thoroughly revealing. It's a sketch of a feeling, or a moment. It's not really saying anything much beyond its own simple vagueness... but one can project into the lyrics any number of moods or feelings or thoughts.

Looking back almost a year since I've finished recording the album, I feel the whole of the Songs For A Shadow is really just a sketch of what I think an album should be about. The vagueness of the words was necessary (Jeez how glib is that?), because it describes exactly the state of mind I was in at the time (I'm such a blondie yaar). In a way, I think I was still looking for a way to tell a story in song form... with all the constraints that come with the verse-chorus-verse-chorus-bridge-chorus form... looking for the magic words, I guess...

Recording Now I Know was a very quick affair. It was one of the last songs to be recorded. I had thought that maybe it needed a bit more mixing or use different patches... but Hardesh thought it sounded just fine. So I just brought my old Acer laptop and plugged it straight into Hardesh's mixer. He recorded it as is, added a bit of reverb or delay... can't remember... and then we did two or three vocal takes with a few punch-ins... I asked Hardesh to add a bit of fuzz on my vocals just to "roughen" it up a bit... LOL...

And that was that...

*
NOW I KNOW HOW IT FEELS

Every time the rain washes away the city streets
And the pavements turn to sheets of silver glass
Every surface is absorbing light like little seeds
Seeds of memory, or someone’s history

Now I know how it feels
Now I know how each and everything’s connected
From the leaf to the grass to the sky to the clouds
From the end of her hair to the start of his smile

Now I know how it feels
Now I know how it feels

And every time a sound of gunshot echoes inside my brain
There’s a face of loveliness comes to explain
Every act has a consequence for enemies and friends
Acts of love, acts of hate where there’s only pain

Now I know how it feels
Now I know how each and everything’s connected
From the leaf to the grass to the sky to the clouds
From the end of her hair to the start of his smile

Now I know how it feels
Now I know how it feels

From the trees to the sun to the mouth to the stars
From the touch of his hand to the shiver in her thighs
From the force to surrender to the heart and the lies
From the tip of his nose to the shine in her eyes

Now I know how it feels
Now I know how it feels

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